| my weekend was great yet horrible.
i'm not at peace with myself. at all. i'm so... unsettled. and unsure of myself.
i did something i regret.
and it seems the only person i feel like i can talk to about nearly anything and i'm totally comfortable with is usually unavailable. or avoiding me. i'm not sure if i even really want to know.
my life has become centered around something that is unattainable. and i absolutely hate it but i feel like i can't change it; i have definetly tried. i remember when i looked forward to just being with friends and watching movies with my family and stuff like that. but now none of that fully makes me content. and i feel like i don't even enjoy life as much anymore unless if everything is perfect.
i know what my life should be focused on. and i'm really, really trying. |
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| great weekend.
the best one in a while.
and even though it's 10:55,
and i have homework to finish,
and my fingers ache,
and i can't stop yawning,
i am content.
i love listening to sam, revel, and alex [and company] play music.
it's one of the most enjoyable things in the world.
seriously.
i am so tired of waiting.
i heard something today that made me very angry. it annoys me that some people are so in need of attention that they will say things that have little or no truth to them. are the few moments of amusement or feeling that you've 'enlightened' someone really worth comprimising the truth? and i'm not talking about people who say untrue things and are just like, joking around and stuff. i'm talking about when someone says something not true or seriously exaggerates a situation with the intent of offending someone else. you can have whatever fictitious thoughts you want, but at least keep them to yourself. |
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| why have i been so exhausted these past few days? i hate this feeling. worthless and unproductive. and dull. but maybe that one has nothing to do with exhaustion. i've really felt sort of 'out of it' lately. but i think i am starting to get better. things are becoming less stressful.
my eyes are in pain. people who don't have to wear contacts may not realize how fortunate they are.-take care of your eyes!. eat your carrots. don't sit too close to the tv.
i want to take latin this summer. that would be... so awesome.
i hate being caught between two people that i love so much.
hiccups are so annoying. |
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| i had an interesting dream last night. today feels like it will be a strange day. i guess it's the weather.
today is sunday. which means exactly a year ago, i was most likely spending the day at the mall. i really miss those sunday visits.
i also miss spanish 2 and our taco bell fiestas.
i hope i won't be like this all day. dwelling on the past never leaves me feeling content.
i need to get out of the house. |
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